


So Your Boyfriend's A 400 Hundred Year Old Warlock...

by AlxSteele



Series: Through The Looking Glass [24]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:48:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7406158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlxSteele/pseuds/AlxSteele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So, your boyfriend is a 400-hundred-year old warlock… I mean it’s really not a big deal….” Isabelle trailed off, turning to face him again and frowning. “Okay, it’s a lot to handle, but—”</p><p>Set in the alt. universe of This World Inverted: Magnus tried to break up with Alec. Alec refused but, finding out your boyfriend isn't the normal human you always assumed him to be and is, in fact, an immortal 400 hundred-year-old warlock, is still a lot to handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Your Boyfriend's A 400 Hundred Year Old Warlock...

**Author's Note:**

> First things first, thank you to everyone who read THE THING, finally! And all the awesome comments you guys left me last week, I was often dissolving into giggles in public places because of them. I don't think I had toooo many death threats but the ones I got were nice! And all the "i hate you but I love you"s were just, honestly, so ego boosting. Love you guys too! =D
> 
> Okay, I'm done torturing, read it! We are officially heading to the end of the road!

Alec’s mind was a whirlwind; a tornado he couldn’t escape. He’d been trying not to think about it, distracting himself with work and anything to keep his mind off Magnus and werewolves and magic and… He just kept circling back to it.

His own assistant had sent him home the day before, which was a day after Magnus told him he was a warlock, which was the morning after Isabelle almost died.

Alec had been avoiding his siblings and the questions he knew they had for him. Had been avoiding thinking as much as possible. Had been trying to just… He didn’t even know. Exist? Breathe?

Alec really wanted to go somewhere and get drunk enough that he couldn’t think anymore, but he knew that would be a mistake. Then again, recently he’d gotten really good at making terrible decisions anyway.

He kept thinking the word, breakup, and his heart would stop and he’d get this sick feeling in his chest. He kept forcing it away, refusing to remember how Magnus had looked at him, like he didn’t even care.

 _It’s not a breakup_ , he kept telling himself. It wasn’t a breakup. Magnus was just… Magnus was just being Magnus. Always afraid to fall the last step. They’d…they’d figure it out.

It _wasn’t_ a breakup.

 _God_. It didn’t even matter, that’s what he kept thinking over and over and over again. He didn’t care that Magnus was a warlock. There was so much to get his mind around and he didn’t understand any of it. But he didn’t _care._

He cared… He cared that Magnus hadn’t told him. Because he didn’t give a fuck and shouldn’t Magnus have known that? Shouldn’t he have at least trusted Alec to accept him?

All Alec could think, was it didn’t matter. But what did matter, was that Magnus had kept it from him. Hadn’t been willing to tell him the truth, to share all of himself with Alec, the way Alec had him.

Alec was stupidly, desperately in love with Magnus, whether he was a…a mundane or a million-year-old warlock. But…Alec couldn’t be with someone who didn’t trust him. He couldn’t be with someone that made him doubt everything, the way he’d spent the last month or more, doubting himself and Magnus and everything between.

He couldn’t be with someone who kept pushing him away.

He was hurting, his heart breaking in his chest because he didn’t understand anything anymore.

Hurting because Magnus didn’t tell him and weren’t they falling in love? Did he even really know anything about Magnus?

It was just…too much. He didn’t care what Magnus was, not really. But he didn’t know how to wrap his head around it. How to get back to what they’d been before. He felt like… Like he’d thought he’d known all he needed to about Magnus only to suddenly realize he’d just been reading the cliff notes version, not the real thing.

And part of him knew that was stupid, Magnus was still Magnus in all the ways that mattered. But part of him was heartbroken and didn’t know how to handle it. Alec had never had his heart broken before and it wasn’t completely there yet just…splintered; on the verge of falling apart but not there. Not yet.

Because they _weren’t_ broken up.

Alec wanted nothing more than to go to Magnus, because he missed him—god, he missed Magnus so much and it hadn’t even been that long— but he knew he couldn’t do that. Not yet. Even if it killed him not to.

He had to figure things out first. Give Magnus time. And - and Alec desperately wanted Magnus to call. To show up and apologize and demand they talk this out. To do _something_.

***

Magnus rubbed his eyes wearily, moving away from his work table and stepping on Church’s tail, causing the cat to jump, hiss, and claw Magnus’ leg open, all in a matter of seconds.

“Demon,” Magnus whispered, walking away from the cat. But there was no heat behind the words, they were barely a whisper.

Magnus grabbed a small jar and took it back to the table, pouring a steaming green potion into it.

Over the last two — or was it three? — days Magnus had buried himself in work. Mixing up spells and potions for his downworlder clients in record speed. He’d taken few jobs that required leaving his loft — which was currently in a state of disaster, with discarded takeout cartons, dirty dishes, and clothes, and the stuffing from the pillows on the couch courtesy of Church — but he’d been working overtime on anything he could do from home.

Magnus’ phone rang, sounding from somewhere behind the couch, under the pile of clothes that were moving in a suspicious manner. He ignored it, as he had been since he threw it behind the couch after he’d finally managed to pull himself from bed the day after he’d broken up with Alec.

Magnus’ heart skipped and sank, he ignored that too.

This was for the best, he told himself again. He was doing the right thing. He’d be fine and Alec would be better off without him.

Alexander— _Alec_ , Magnus corrected himself—would be perfectly fine. It probably wasn’t even him calling. At the very least, Magnus did not get to feel sad about it. He’d made the decision. He had to live with it.

Magnus was a mess. If he was honest, he didn’t even know if he was avoiding the phone because it might be Alec or because he was terrified it wasn’t.

He rubbed his hand over his face, staring off into the distance.

He kept picturing Alec’s face, heartbroken. Alec’s face, full of anger. There was no way Alec could forgive him, for lying…deceiving him for months. Not trusting him even if, for Magnus, it never had anything to do with trust but his own stupid worries. And, really, Magnus couldn't blame him, he didn’t deserve to be forgiven.

Even if he did, it was too late. He’d pushed Alec away. Broken up with him.

He didn’t notice he’d set the potion on fire until Church started practically screeching.

Magnus glanced over at the demon, glaring. “Shut up, you.”

Then he turned back around, blinking slowly, coming out of a haze. And the potion bottle he held was leaking flames.

Magnus didn’t panic, he wasn’t even really that surprised. He hadn’t slept in three days and this wasn’t the first potion he’d ruined in that time. With a snap of his fingers from the hand not holding the potion, the whole thing disappeared.

Magnus sighed, leaving his workspace to flop down on the couch that was strewn with blankets and pillows he’d pulled from his bed.

Even after the tail catastrophe — not the only one that day — Church continued to follow Magnus, going so far as to curl up on the end of the couch, furthest away from Magnus, of course.

“What do you want, you little demon? Go away.” Magnus tried to shoo him but Church merely started licking his paw lazily.

Magnus laid back against the pillows. The loft was dark and ominous, with just a few rays of sunlight getting in around the edges of the dark curtains. Magnus pulled out a piece of white fluff from one of the ripped pillows, throwing it at Church. Church didn’t blink.

“Are you planning to murder me while I sleep?” Magnus asked softly, thinking Alec would find it amusing that Church was torturing him this way.

A sharp pang sounded in his chest, his heart breaking when he remembered he’d ruined it. He’d ruined everything.

Tears threatened but he pushed them away.

It…it didn’t matter. He had to remind himself, over and over and over again, so he wouldn’t do something stupid, like pick up the phone. Like run as fast as he could to Alec, to apologize a million and one times. To talk himself hoarse until Alec knew and understood everything. To do anything he possibly could to fix _this_.

Had to remind himself of Alec, covered in blood, hurt and hurting, on the pavement outside the loft. Alec, attacked by a werewolf that was trying to get to Magnus because Magnus had been the one hunting them down.

And Isabelle… The bright and beautiful, nerdy and brilliant Isabelle, who’d never been anything but kind to Magnus and protective of her older brother. Almost dying because she’d been the one to push Alec out of the way, to jump in front of him.

And the look…the despair and heartbreak in Alec’s eyes, when he thought he was going to lose Isabelle.

And all Magnus could think, was Alec had been coming to see him that night, that’s why they were on the street. And Magnus hadn’t warned him or anything. If Magnus hadn’t been there…

Magnus forced himself to breathe. In and out. He wasn’t sure when his eyes had closed but they were closed now.

It was better this way, he told himself for the millionth time. He kept his eyes closed as his phone started ringing again. Magnus was mostly asleep by the time Church curled up on his chest. He didn’t even really care if the demon cat was going to try to kill him or not.

***

Alec’s mind was a mess. One thought flitting to another. Barely able to handle everything clogging it up. Barely able to keep anything straight. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t organize his thoughts and figure out his feelings. So he did what he always did when he felt this way; he called Izzy.

By the time Isabelle showed up (Simon following along behind her, refusing to leave her side since the other night) Alec was convinced he’d never clear his mind again.

He didn’t know what to do anymore. He’d spent days trying to think things through and only going in circles. He’d tried to call Magnus, but he hadn’t answered. He was pretty much set on lying in bed for the foreseeable future until everything worked itself out around him.

He told Izzy this as she flopped down on the bed next to him. She gave him an incredulous look, raising an eyebrow before scrunching up her nose. Isabelle glanced around the apartment again and her frown deepened.

“You are aware that you’re a fully functioning adult, with a job, a business, right?” Izzy asked, turning away from the mess of the apartment and back to the mess of Alec.

“Yes,” Alec mumbled, regretting sending Izzy the SOS.

“Dude, you’re a literal disaster,” Simon piped up from the kitchen as he dug through the fridge. “And you don’t have any food,” he added, standing up straight. “What happened to you, anyway?”

Isabelle turned a glare on her boyfriend as Alec let his eyes fall closed.

“Anyway, as a fully functioning adult you are in a fully — okay, what’s supposed to be a fully functioning adult relationship. Which means you can’t sulk around like a— A…. I don’t know! An emotional moody mess!” Izzy sputtered.

Alec raised an eyebrow without opening his eyes.

“Whatever! Talk to me, tell me what happened. I mean, we’re kind of dying here. Have you seen my stomach?”

Alec frowned, sitting up and opening his eyes. Izzy lifted the hem of her Buffy the Vampire Slayer shirt, revealing…nothing but her toned stomach.

Alec shook his head, meeting her gaze again.

“Alec! I was cut open. I could feel them, three…scratches, tears, across my stomach. More on my side. One…” she stopped, breathing deeply, eyes closing behind smudged glasses. “One went _through me_ , Alec. It was toward my hip, right here,” she moved her hand to her side. “It poked through from my stomach to my back like…like a bite mark or something…”

“And it’s gone,” Alec whispered.

He hadn’t talked to anyone about it. He’d made sure Izzy was okay, he hadn’t left her side until the day before, but he’d remained mute. No one asked anything, even though it was clear Clary, Jace, and Simon all had plenty of questions.

Alec took a deep breath. He only remembered bits and pieces and he hadn’t let Magnus tell him everything. But…he knew a few things. So he told them. Told them it was werewolves that had attacked them. That Magnus had said something about a rabid pack he’d been…hunting? Was that what he was, a monster hunter? Alec didn’t know. And that Magnus, Magnus was an immortal warlock.

“Man. That’s awesome! I want an immortal warlock boyfriend!” Simon exclaimed, getting odd looks from the other two. He flushed, looking away, “You know what I mean.”

Isabelle pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. Scrawling things across the paper, she filled up two sheets before stopping. Alec watched silently. She ripped the paper from the pad and handed it to Alec. He didn’t bother reading it.

“What’s this?”

Izzy rolled her eyes, stuffing the pen and paper back into her bag. “It’s a list of questions you’re going to ask Magnus when you decide to act like a mature adult and talk to him.”

Alec sighed, flopping back down. The truth was, he was desperate to talk to Magnus. His heart surged in his chest over and over again and all it wanted was for him to go right now, to see Magnus, talk, touch, kiss -

“I don’t know what to say, Izzy. I don’t know… I don’t even know what to think,” Alec said _. It wasn’t that easy. He broke up with me._

Isabelle stood up, she was in fix-it mode, pacing back and forth, pulling her long, messy hair up, out of her face. She waved her hands around as she spoke.

“So, your boyfriend is a 400-hundred-year old warlock… I mean it’s really not a big deal….” Isabelle trailed off, turning to face him again and frowning. “Okay, it’s a lot to handle, but—”

“Well, yeah,” Simon cut in, jumping up excitedly. “I mean, first of all, this whole other world exists. Like: Mind. Blown.” Simon made an explosive gesture near his head.

“Besides _that_ , your boyfriend has been lying to you and I mean, you have to be confused and like thinking, did you even know him at all? And that’s not even to mention all the other stuff. He’s so OLD. And a warlock. And Immortal? Like, all together I’m surprised you haven’t had a heart attack or a complete mental breakdown. I would’ve.”

Alec’s heart stopped and restarted over and over again. There was no other explanation for the long pauses between beats.

“Not helping!” Izzy shrieked, flying towards Simon to bat at him. “You are banished from this apartment until I say you can come back!”

“What?” Simon looked confused, turning from Izzy to Alec, who shrugged.

“Out!”

“But, what’d I do?” Simon stuck out his bottom lip, widening his eyes.

“Leave. Now,” Isabelle continued, pulling him to the door and throwing it open.

Simon gave Alec one last, pleading look, before sulking out the door with a mumbled, “Whatever.”

Isabelle closed the door, falling back against it with a sigh.

“He’s right,” Alec said and it wasn’t something he said often.

“No,” Isabelle corrected, “He’s an adorable idiot. Now tell me what you’re really feeling Alec. What’s actually bothering you.”

“My boyfriend's an immortal warlock, isn’t that enough?” An immortal warlock that doesn’t trust me, Alec added to himself.

What did that even mean? Immortal…could he still be killed? Did he ever age? Why had he stopped aging when he did? Four hundred years… it was such a big number. Alec had spent his life knowing he only had this, one lifetime to find happiness and enjoy himself. And Magnus…he’d already had four whole lifetimes. And Alec knew nothing about any of them.

Isabelle grabbed his arm, shaking him lightly to pull him from his thoughts. Alec blinked at his sister, breathing heavily.

“Come on Alec, you don’t really care about that. At least…that’s not what’s holding you back from talking to him. From figuring out what all this really is. I mean, you heard all those stories from mom, so they were real,” Isabelle shrugged. “Is it really that big of a deal?”

Alec bolted upright, staring at Izzy like she was insane but she was completely serious.

“Yes!” Alec shouted.

“No!” Isabelle said, looking at him like he was an idiot.

Alec deflated. “No?” Alec rubbed a hand over his face, he felt like he didn’t know anything anymore. “No,” he repeated, because Izzy was right, that didn’t bother him at all right then.

“So?”

Alec didn’t want to confront his feelings. That was a lie though, that was the reason he’d wanted Izzy to come over. She always called him out on his bullshit. He just…he didn’t want to have to deal with any of this.

Was it so bad to want to be in denial? To just want everything to be easy and simple? To just want to tell Magnus that he loved him and have that be that. The end. Because knowing that was just…good enough.

“So…” Alec started, voice low and hoarse. “I’m scared. I think… I _know_ , I love him, so much, Izzy. And I don’t know how that even happened. But then…he’s been keeping so much from me. What if there’s even more? What if… What if this was all some game to him? Something to keep things interesting for a decade or two and then move on from?”

Alec closed his eyes, he could hardly breathe as all the worries exploded out of the safe place in his mind he’d been keeping them.

He’d been so stupid. They’d only been together four months, even if that four months felt like forever it _wasn’t_. And here he’d been, daring to imagine already that it…maybe, possibly, might just be the forever kind of love. And here was Magnus, four hundred years old. Not even trusting Alec enough to tell him.

“Alec,” Izzy said, then again: “ _Alec_.”

He turned to face her, finding her looking serious, voice stern. She gripped his face between her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. “Alec, listen to me right now, okay? Because I’m going to tell you something important. Okay?”

Alec blinked at her. She was holding his face so hard he couldn’t even move his lips to form words.

“Nod if you understand.”

Alec nodded.

“Magnus loves you, Alec. He _loves_ _you_.”

Alec swallowed thickly, closing his eyes when Izzy refused to let go of him.

Did he? Really? Alec wasn't so sure anymore.

“You need to talk to Magnus, because you’re hurt and confused and that’s understandable, but don’t you dare let this ruin things. Don’t you let it get in your head and confuse you. Don’t think about what you don’t know, but what you do. And I know you love him and I know you know he loves you. So you’re going to figure this out, okay? Or I will disown you.”

***

Raphael was the first to show up. Magnus knew he would be, which was the only reason he used a little magic to clean the loft. If he didn’t, he knew, he’d never hear the end of it.

Raphael knocked in the middle of the night, Magnus waved his hand from the couch and the door opened. Raphael strutted in wearing a black suit that sparkled with every movement. His hair was slicked up and filled with glitter, face covered in makeup. Magnus focused on the details, the dark eyeliner, the cuff in Raphael’s ear.

“Catarina sent me to check up on you, _mi querido amigo_.” Raphael headed straight to the little bar cart, pouring himself a drink.

“I’m afraid I’m all out of blood,” Magnus said dully from his spot on the couch, flipping through the TV channels aimlessly.

“This is for you,” Raphael said, passing him the drink.

Magnus stared down into the clear amber liquid but didn’t take a drink.

“Now, tell me about young Alexander,” Raphael demanded, sitting in an armchair.

“Tell me about Lucian,” Magnus countered. They stared at each other for a moment, more like glared; if looks could kill, they’d both be dead.

Raphael sighed. “Lucian is fine…mostly. Alaric was the one doing the killings, ordering them. The pack is…angry, they were used to free range. They won’t defy Lucian though. He must only gain control, gain loyalty and he will be fine. But he has work to do.”

Magnus nodded. Really, it’d worked out better than he could’ve planned. To be honest, he hadn’t been sure the book lover had it in him to kill a deranged alpha werewolf.

Raphael was just finishing up a story about the Seelie’s who’d visited Pandemonium the other night, when the loft door opened. Magnus had sensed him coming a mile away and wasn’t surprised at all to find Ragnor in the doorway.

“Magnus, my dear friend!” Ragnor greeted cheerily. “Am I to assume it’s been heartbreak then?” he asked, nodding to the glass Magnus held — half empty by then — with his own bottle of amber liquid.

Magnus shrugged, downing the rest of the drink.

“Oh dear. This won’t end well,” Ragnor stage whispered to Raphael. The vampire rolled his eyes. “I thought you could use a little something more…powerful,” Ragnor continued, waving the bottle before Magnus.

Magnus held his glass up, letting the other warlock fill it.

After Ragnor had settled into the other armchair, he turned toward Raphael, grinning. “Raph! Who had money on this outcome? Oh, and are we at full breakup or is Magnus just being dramatic or…?”

Raphael snorted, looking over at Magnus who pointedly looked away from them. “I do not think they even know what this is,” he said.

Magnus glared, so much for supposed friends.

Ragnor sighed. “Ah. So Catarina will win once more.”

Magnus narrowed his gaze, knowing they were baiting him. He still couldn’t help but ask, “What’s Catarina’s bet?”

Raphael shared a look with Ragnor before shrugging. “I forget the details.”

“Can’t you see I’m heartbroken over here?” Magnus shouted, causing Church, who laid next to him on the couch, to glare.

Ragnor leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “No. I don’t see that at all. You could use a shower. Shave. Full makeover really.”

Raphael smirked and Magnus resigned himself to spending the rest of the night listening to the two of them.

“It’s good to see him overreacting, you know? Being a little dramatic. I’d missed this side of him,” Ragnor observed, sipping his drink.

Raphael shrugged.

“He’s quite pitiful, though, isn’t he?” Ragnor continued. “What did you think of his boy, Alexander, wasn’t it?”

Magnus forgot to breathe at the mention of Alec. Mind unconsciously conjuring up an image of Alec grinning, leaning over him on the couch, a teasing glint in his eyes.

Magnus closed his eyes against the memory, forcing it away. He was pitiful, he realized. He did this, he reminded himself, he had no right to be sad over it. He’d forced Alec away.

“You know I have no opinion on these things.”

Ragnor frowned, “Mundanes?”

Raphael shrugged. “Mundanes. People. Rats. Call them what you will. I meant more in general, I simply…do not care. However, he did make our little Magnus happy.”

Ragnor laughed. “That he did. Is there any hope, you think?”

“Only if you can make two idiots start acting like they have brains.” Everyone turned at the new, high-pitched voice.

Catarina stepped out of a portal, still dressed for the hospital. She crossed to the couch without another word, pulling Magnus into a hug before slapping him and taking away his drink.

Magnus only had a moment to enjoy Catarina’s company before he started glaring at her. He wanted to be left alone to mourn, was that too much to ask?

The more he sat there, staring up at Catarina and thinking about his own question, the more pathetic he felt. Ragnor was right, he was being dramatic.

“Now. You are going to shower, make yourself presentable, and then tell us all the horrid details so we can fix your life.”

Magnus didn’t bother fighting. He really needed to shower anyway.

Once he’d showered and put on fresh clothes, he returned to the living room. Laying across the couch, with his head in Catarina’s lap.

“Talk,” she whispered softly.

“I— I think… I _know_ , I ruined it.”

***

Alec waited until Izzy and Simon — who’d been lurking in the hallway outside Alec’s apartment — had left. Then, he picked up his apartment, cleaning every surface, before he laid back on his bed, closing his eyes.

Alec just laid there, breathing for a few minutes and tried to think of what Isabelle would do if she were still there. He came up with the answer easily enough, she’d ask him what he wanted most, right that second, and then she’d tell him to do it.

Rolling over, Alec grabbed his phone and dialed from memory, even though the number was his first on speed dial.

***

Magnus froze, heart leaping for escape and getting trapped in his throat.

He’d spent the last few hours sleeping, Catarina insisting on it. When he’d woken up, he’d finished cleaning the loft the normal way instead of using magic, something to keep his mind occupied. Now, he sat at his worktable again, staring blankly at an old spell book he hadn’t looked at in years.

The phone rang and rang and rang. Everything slowed around Magnus, the world on pause as his pulse hammered in his wrists. The ringing went on and on, echoing in his mind.

Finally, he stood up. Kneeling down behind the couch, Magnus approached his cellphone like a wild animal. It was upside down on the floor so he couldn’t see the caller ID but he knew without touching it who was calling.

His heart stilled in his chest as he reached out for the phone. It was halfway to his ear when he hit ignore.

Magnus slumped to the floor, head back against the couch, eyes closed as his heart ripped free of his chest. He wanted nothing more than to answer the phone, to call Alec back, to portal to him right that very second… But he couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to Alec. Magnus wasn’t enough. He never had been.

***

Alec tried to tell himself it didn’t mean anything. Magnus was busy. His phone was dead. It was nothing. He’d call him back.

It was late, so Alec crawled under the covers, not bothering to shower or change. The lights were still on but he didn’t feel like getting up to turn them off. He just laid there, thinking. About Magnus and all the little things that had somehow pointed to the truth all along.

Magnus with his blue magic, sparking across his fingers. Magnus trying so hard to save Izzy. The look of relief when he had. The look of pain and horror when he’d told Alec the truth.

The blank expression when he said that maybe they should take some time apart.

Alec turned over eventually, burying his head in his pillows. He thought about Magnus, grinning up at him, looking almost surprised by the laugh escaping him. Magnus pouting when Alec refused to watch his favorite movie again and then grinning triumphantly when Alec gave in. Magnus leaving for his business trip and kissing him against the door frame.

Alec frowned, the business trip that had never really made any sense, suddenly did. Magnus’ client that needed help… Alec shook his head, he’d been so stupid to never question anything. It wasn’t like he’d invited Magnus to be honest with him. Just went along with the lies, not wanting to question it, not wanting to ruin things, risk them.

And now Magnus was pulling away again. Alec had nearly forgotten how Magnus did that. The first two months of their relationship were filled with that, off and on. But…things had been so _good_.

Alec crawled out of bed slowly. Isabelle was right, relationships required work but all that mattered right that second was that he knew they weren’t giving up. That Magnus knew Alec wasn’t giving up.

That was Alec’s plan, to tell Magnus that he wasn’t giving up. It wasn’t over. What Alec hadn’t planned on, was running into Jace outside his apartment or going to the bar. Or drinking and finally confessing to someone that Magnus had broken up with him.

Hadn’t planned on doing shots until Jace and him were leaning against each other in front of the bar, barely able to stand. That’s what happened, however.

Alec didn’t know how long they spent there, after Alec explained everything about Magnus (followed by lots of cursing on Jace’s end as he tried to make sense of everything, which was followed by the before mentioned shots). All Alec knew was that everything hurt and he didn’t know what to do.

They kept going in circles. Alec saying something about Magnus. Jace bad mouthing Magnus, trying to help Alec in his own way. Followed by shots.

“It’s not like I asked him if he was human, it’s not a big deal right?” Alec said as they stumbled onto their seats at the bar.

“Wrong!” Jace slammed his hand down on the bar. “ _Wrong._ He lied to you, Alec. And then, instead…without. Before — and then he…” Jace started giggling, shaking his head to regain control of his drunken thoughts.

Alec turned to the bartender, waving him away when Jace tried to get another round of shots.

After a few minutes, Jace finally continued. “Instead,” Jace said, finger waving in front of Alec’s face and distracting him. “Instead of talking it out like mature adults…he, that rat bastard, he tried to break up with you! Who does that? No one. That’s who. You’re fucking Alec Lightwood! My _brother_ and nobody hurts you.”

Alec might have felt a little touched at Jace’s protective attitude but that was ruined two seconds later when Jace ran to the bathroom to throw up and Alec had to stumble after him, making sure he didn’t choke and die.

Afterwards, Alec hailed a cab, making sure Jace got home safe. As Clary came out to get Jace upstairs to his tiny apartment, Jace turned, giving Alec his best serious look, ruined by the nauseous look on his face.

“I will kick his ass right now, Alec. Just say the word.”

Alec left with a forced laugh, and a mumbled “no thanks”, slipping back into the cab. He didn’t mean to yet, somehow, he still ended up outside Magnus’ loft.

***

Magnus opened the door wearily, stepping back in shock when he found Alec there instead of one of his meddling friends.

“Alexander,” the name slipped out before he could call it back.

Alec looked haggard, exhausted. Hair flopping in his face, his eyes red, surrounded by dark circles. He wore sweats with a hole in them and an old hoodie, leaning heavily against the doorframe.

He looked up at Magnus’ voice and Magnus lost his breath at the emotions that flickered through his eyes, clear across his face, happiness and then anger, landing somewhere between the two, close to heartbreak.

They stared at each other. Magnus knew he couldn’t look much better than Alec did at that moment.

It took Magnus a second to realize Alec was drunk. Very, very drunk. When he did, he took a surprised step back, the smell of alcohol thick on Alec’s breath and easily reaching him.

“Alexander,” he whispered.

Alec stood up straight, shaking his head. “No, don’t call me that. I’m not talking to you.”

Magnus’ heart stopped.

Alec stepped past him, into the loft. Stumbling only a little on his way to the couch where he flopped down, burying his face in his hands.

Magnus stood frozen, heart slowly and painfully starting to beat again. He watched Alec, who was quickly snoring. Magnus shook his head, closing the door. He didn’t let himself think, grabbing a blanket and tucking Alec in.

His heart had gone from not beating to beating too fast, too hard in his chest. Don’t think, don’t think, he told himself again and again.

It was after he set out a glass of water and was heading back to his bedroom – Church and the Chairman already curled around Alec – that Alec finally spoke.

His voice was lower than ever and it sounded like he was half asleep. “I’m not giving up,” he whispered.

Magnus was rooted to the spot, mouth firmly closed, he couldn’t say anything, his throat was too tight. His blood rushed through his head, white noise that blocked out nearly everything.

“I don’t understand,” Alec said, shaking his head and turning over. Magnus could just barely see him from where he stood behind the couch. “Why’d you break up with me?”

Magnus had to have stood there for another fifteen minutes opening and closing his mouth, no words coming out, but Alec was firmly asleep by then.

Magnus stumbled back to his room, hiding under his blankets like that would somehow fix the hole being carved in his chest.

Magnus couldn’t sleep, knowing Alec was so close and he couldn’t even touch him.

 _I’m not giving up._ That’s what he’d said. Magnus’ heart ached and he spent most the night barely daring to breathe.

It wasn’t until an hour or so later that Alec came into the bedroom. Magnus was laying on his side, facing away from the door, pretending that he might sleep at some point; when he heard Alec stirring, going to the kitchen for more water. Then, soft footsteps outside the bedroom.

Magnus didn’t move, heard Alec rustling around behind him, saw Alec’s sweatshirt go flying to the other side of the room.

Magnus stopped breathing – really, with the amount of breathing he’d been doing recently, he shouldn't have been alive.

The bed moved as Alec sat on the edge.

“Magnus?” his voice came out of the dark, low and rough. Magnus stayed perfectly still. Alec must’ve known he was awake though, because his voice came again, “Is this okay?”

Magnus nodded. When Alec didn’t move, he realized he must not have seen the action. “Yes,” he breathed.

Alec moved slowly, pulling back the covers and sliding into bed behind Magnus. They both seemed to hold their breath while the whole world fell silent.

This was a bad idea, Magnus told himself. But he was weak. He wanted this. He wanted to curl up next to Alec and pretend everything was fine. He wanted everything to be fine.

He shouldn’t…

Magnus was all too aware of the moment Alec rolled over, slinging an arm around Magnus and pulling him close. All too aware of Alec’s heartbeat behind him, his breath warm on the back of Magnus’ neck.

Then, Magnus had no trouble at all breathing.

***

Alec hadn’t slept well in nearly a week, since before Izzy was hurt. But, even with a pounding headache and the remains of the better part of half a dozen shots in his system, that night he was out like a brick and had nothing but good dreams.

***

When Magnus woke up, for just a moment, it felt like everything was perfect. He was grinning. He stretched. Then he noticed how cold the bed was, how empty.

Alec had already left. Magnus was alone once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thursday night, next update, mark your calendars! (by my calculations, with this posting twice a week thing, we should just get through the end of the month and then it will be over... =( I'll start a countdown when we get close! Until the end of the line...)
> 
> Tell me your thoughts, yell at me on [Tumblr](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/) my friends!
> 
> Thanks for reading you loveliest of biscuits!  
> <3<3<3


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